Last Sun, i sms-ed him to ask when he's free. His reply, Tuesday. Tuesday was never a free day for me, coz i have to follow my parents to JB in the morning, but i can always make some time when we came back from JB. So i replied by, ok, tuesday around 5 or 6, we meet. He said ok..
Monday night, i sms-ed him: R u meeting me tmrw? He replied. See how. Not feeling well I asked: Why, wat happened to u? He replied: Maybe overworked. I replied telling him to have a good rest that night. And its either tmrw (tuesday) or never. Unless of course he's the one who dun wanna meet me, before signing off goodnight. He replied: Goodnight.
Tuesday. I was emotionally depressed. So depressed..Totally depressed. Went JB and came back ard 4. I received neither smses or calls from him. Then, I did it.
Ard 5:45, i sent him an sms: Hey how are u?So its a never?Just as i thought.I shd have known.I guess this is it.I'm proposing this to u for the second time. Lets break up.
Now, more than21 hours later, i still feel like i'm the most worthless, unloved and unimportant person to someone. I was stupid last time. And am stupid now. If i'm smart then i'll run away, but i'm not so i guess i'll stay. haven't u heard? (Song from Madonna's Beautiful Stranger)
I have stopped to expect any calls or msges from him.
Dun tell me i'm being mean. Our relationship was a weird one. The last time i saw him was bloody 2 years ago. The last time i talked to him was bloody 3 weeks ago. And the last time i received a msg from him which was just a one-word goodnight 2 nights ago. AM i being mean to propose that to him?
I better stop now before i start to cry again. My beautiful eyes wereswollen yesterday, and again today.
Berhenti Berharap - Sheila on 7
aku tak percaya lagi dengan apa yang kau beri aku terdampar di sini tersudut menunggu mati aku tak percaya lagi akan guna matahari dengan mampu menerangi sudut gelap hati ini aku berhenti berharap dan menunggu datang gelap sampai nanti suatu saat tak ada cinta kudapat kenapa ada derita bila bahagia tercipta kenapa ada sang hitam bila putih menyenangkan... Chorus: aku pulang... tanpa dendam kuterima.. kekalahanku aku pulang... tanpa dendam kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu bridge: kau ajarkan aku bahagia kau ajarkan aku derita kau tunjukkan aku bahagia kau tunjukkan aku derita kau berikan aku bahagia kau berikan aku derita Back to chorus**
